Mailing It In This Week With a Postcard
In the time it takes to read this column, your hermit crab will already have died
Let me be clear: this is not my best work. There will be typos, non-sequiturs, and regret. But just three weeks into this "Thursday Column" Substack, I can't sluff off. I can't take a week off just because I'm trying to hit some 11th-hour work deadlines and pilot the minivan south of South of the Border with my fam, a couple of buckets and shovels, and some SPF 100 — the New England Clam Chowder of suntan lotions.
Here's the thing: Something happens when you plan a vacation after 30. And I've had almost 17 years to reflect, opine and give the finger to Marty Moose and Mickey Mouse.
The World knows about your getaway. Everyone, everywhere knows. They know you're clocking out of your ho-hum routine and checking into something... different, better, perhaps with a wedge of pineapple and a dab of whipped creme. That's all it needs to be: just not your home, and hopefully at least a half-star rating higher. Oh, and the World despises you... your future farmer's tan, your shared Mai Tai sporting playfully clanging metal straws, and your 43 Instagram photos cruelly scrolling through their feed while they're finishing a urgent Excel document while clinging to half a bar of Wi-Fi at a Pediatric Urgent Care.
Because we've been there. And you've been here. And when the lifeguard’s whistle blows, we'll shuffle around, change spots, and repeat
So, please excuse me while I play some oldies this week — with some summer vay-cay vibes — and unfortunately, possibly some paywalls. (Ugh.) Cheers! And be back in a week (or two…).
"Fishing for Father Time" - When you only catch memories with dad, and maybe a dead sea bass.
"The Diaper Fund: Myrtle Beach Bum" - Home to bad tattoos and diaper breeches.
"A Dad's Life: A Love Letter to Key West" - Reflecting on a battered and beaten paradise.
"The Diaper Fund: Sands of Time" - A cautionary tale for baby's first beach day.
"Birthdays Aren't Always a Cakewalk" - Nothing to do with vacations, but it is my mom's birthday.